The Weekend

After a terrible week, I have had a day or so to recoup and reevaluate some things in my class.  First of all, the templates for my routines were off.  I was using the same policies and procedures that another teacher had used before me.  Turns out that this was crazy.  Her rules make no sense, and the other teachers at my school mentioned how ridiculously burdened this teacher was last year.

I have been fortunate enough to have an incredibly supportive administrative team, as well as a great colleague base.  We have been chatting and reorganizing the syllabus.  At last I feel that I have SOME semblance of a plan.  During our inservice, the faculty created a set of norms for conducting business between professionals.  These include things like always having a goal for a meeting, and coming up with next steps.  In our meetings, the department “chair” and I have been using our “norms” in order to conduct business.  This makes me feel way more accomplished and clear-headed.

I am considering last week a scratch.  It sucked- but now I have to make it work.  First thing will be to tell my students that I have thought about the week and need to change some things around.  Hopefully it is early enough for this to work.  I also have fans in the class, but this hasn’t really helped too much.  The kids are still sweating, and as for me, I have lost about 10lbs since the middle of August – so the heat is definitely screwing with me.

Tomorrow I have to plan the first unit.  The Global Studies team is meeting to work out some things.  The other

First Week Blues

I have had three days of school, and already want to quit.  I keep trying to tell myself that things will get better, but I can’t seem to see through the fog of not knowing what the hell I am doing.  For some reason, I felt that UTeach prepared me for school- but really, that’s nowhere near the truth.  There so many things I have never thought about that make teaching almost unbearable.   I don’t know how to get organized, I don’t know how to plan a full curriculum, and I don’t feel confident enough to deal with all of the fucked up things that 9th graders have to say to each other.  I feel like Rick Smith’s proverbial “Mr. Meanswell.”

Let me summarize some of the crazy shit that went on this week.  First of all, the schedule at my school is absolute nightmare.  It’s almost like college, only entirely crazy.  MWF classes are 45 minutes.  TTH classes are 70.  I teach 3 courses of Global Studies.  I see some of my courses on some days, and some on others.  I only see ALL of my classes on TTH, and then not in the same order.  On Tues for example, I see Class 3 then 2, then 1.  On Thurs I see class 1, then 2, then 3.  I see class 1 on MTWTh, class 2 on TWThF, and Class 3 on MTThF. Really, this makes me completely off schedule. I have no clue how to teach in this format.  I have sought help, but don’t know how to really put everything together.

Second, we STILL don’t have a proper schedule.  I woke up yesterday and learned that I had to teach a recovery class.  Today,  that changed.  I also apparently have 2 study halls I’m supposed to monitor as well as an Advisory class.

Third, I have no airconditioning in my class. This means that my kids are hot, irritable, and sweaty. I am also exceedingly sweaty because I have been in my crazy hot classroom all day.  I seriously believe that I sweat out at least 5lbs a day.  This is no good, considering I haven’t really figured out how to eat properly.  Hot kids + hot teacher = bad news bears.

Fourth, procedures just don’t make sense.  Don’t know how to do them. Don’t know how to implement them.  Don’t know how to teach them.

I’m falling apart…

starts and stops

Ok, so I’ve decided to take a different track. I may as well write about some personal things as well teaching, considering I am a person, and do tend try to have a life.

I moved to New York on July 31 from Dallas. Prior to that I had been in Austin where I was desperately trying to sell all of my furniture in order to move up here. Craigslist proved to be a godsend in that front. Just as I was getting scared of having to dump a couch, desk, and several chairs, a nice couple from up in Round Rock came to collect everything from me. They came prepared: trailer, hitch, boots – the whole shebang.

Gab and I packed up all of my stuff, having thrown away most everything I owned. I managed to pack my entire life into 2 suitcases – pretty impressive I thought. Once I got on the plane from Dallas to New York, I had a strange unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. It didn’t seem right to be moving. And, once I moved into my new place in Harlem, that feeling only grew stronger. From the moment I stepped into my apartment I felt out of sorts. The place was fine; in fact, it was clean, new, pretty – all things one could ask for in a place. I just didn’t feel right. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and to top it off, I probably sweated away 5lbs due to the humidity while I shlepped my bags up and down two different fourth floor walkups.

After several days of going crazy, I decided to move out of the place. I went on craiglist, quickly found a new apartment (double the rent mind you), and moved out. The landlady was pissed- but I really could care less. After 2 weeks I found someone to take over the lease – and that’s that.

Now school is about to start (on my birthday) and I couldn’t be more nervous. I haven’t been able to pull myself together until now. Planning an entire year seems a daunting task to say the least. I’ve got about 4000 years of history to cover, and 180 to do it in. It amazes me that Texas only gives ONE YEAR to cover this stuff. We have 2 here in New York, and it still seems crazy.

Introductions: New Teacher Staff Development

Clearly it has been several months since the last time I sat down to write anything. Since March, many things have happened. First of all, I graduated. And secondly, I got a job teaching at SoBro, a small 6-12 grade in Mott Haven, New York.

Mott Haven is a notoriously difficult area in which to teach. The population which we serve is one of the poorest in the nation, heavily populated by immigrants, and comes along with all of the baggage associated with poverty: low academic ability, limited English proficiency, broken and/or dysfunctional homes etc. Our school has made a concerted effort to provide the children of this neighborhood with as rigorous and as challenging an education possible, with the stated goal of ensuring that our students enter and succeed in college.

The building in which our school is located used to belong to a particularly frightening high school, until this school was fazed out and replaced by two smaller schools. SoBro is the result of several years’ work in partnership with a national non-profit agency that tries to grow opportunities for college entrance. We have a small staff, and a small population of students which will allow us to provide much more focused attention to our students.

Today was the first day of new teacher staff development. The majority of the new teachers are young, between the ages of 22 and 28. However, there are a smattering of older teachers. While this has the potential to be a fairly frightening situation, the atmosphere provided by all the older teachers and the administrators has proven (so far) to be one of cooperation and kindness. From the moment we stepped into school, I felt comfortable.

In our staff development session, we focused on several key issues. The key idea which I learned today was the importance of protocol. This provides a framework in which we as teachers and as colleagues can create dialog and discussion without getting caught up in the swirling and twirling of circular jargon and BS.

Overall, today was a successful and enlightening experience. Hopefully tomorrow will prove similar

Theme for the week: disappointing

The past few weeks have been rather disappointing.  A series of events have made me feel like I’m in a slump, trying desperately to claw my way back up to normality.  First of all, that girl who came into my class after being called terrible names by her previous teacher has been sent to the alternative school.  The CT and I have tried hard to make at least OUR classroom a welcoming place for her, and when she is present she makes the effort, seeming genuinely interested in learning.  However, in one incident she betrayed the trust that we have in class by using my, and the CT’s name while skipping in the cafeteria.  She said, “Well they let me be here!” to the AP who interrogated her.  It’s just disappointing.

Also, this blog project is not going so well.  The students who participate have done a great job, and I’ve spent a great deal of time working out all the kinks and problems in order to make this an interesting and engaging project.  However, the majority of people in each class do not do the assignments, and I really don’t know how to get them to work.  I remind the students each week of the upcoming assignments every day.  I give them extra time to complete the assignments.  I’ve even had a “you’re better than this” speech with the kids.  I had hoped that this would work out much better than it has.  Again, disappointing.

Finally, I was walking down the hallway when I ran into one of my students sitting.  She is in ROTC, and was wearing her fatigues.  Our conversation went like this:

Me: Hey A…, how are you today?
A: Oh, not so good Mr. Cane
Me: What’s wrong?
A: Well I got passed up for promotion in ROTC again this week.  I just don’t understand it.  I’ve been trying really hard this year, and I still didn’t get promoted.
Me: Hmmm. Well have you spoken with the [person in charge]?
A: Well yeah, I spoke with Col., and he didn’t really say much.  I’m so mad. I know the Major doesn’t like me. I think I just want to quit.
Me: Okay A.  I understand why you are upset.  I understand that you are mad.  I know how much this hurts, and feel for you.  But don’t make the decision to quit while you are in this state.  Remember, you make bad decisions when you are angry.  So take the weekend to think about a few things, and then come back to school on Monday ready to face the challenge.
A: Thanks Mr. Cane.  That makes a lot of sense.

I walked away from this conversation happy that I had this interaction with the girl.  We had a connection, and I really felt like I helped her.  I recounted this story to the CT, and he was also impressed by the way I handled this situation.  Nevertheless, he told me that the Major [guy in charge of the whole ROTC]  does not tend to promote girls.  I was struck still by just how unfair this whole situation is.  This poor girl works very hard in my class, and so I believe her when she says she worked hard for ROTC.  Yet, despite this she wont’ get promoted.   Once more, disappointing.